At long last she left the house and I was able to listen to the football in peace. When she came home she smelt of wine. Again.
I've brought you a present, she said and she waved a box in front of me. When she took the lid off I was astonished to see a big fish head inside. Nigel cooked us a big old salmon for tea and we all put the leftovers into this box for you. Everyone asked how you were and I said you were the furriest loveliest chap in the whole world.
Oh God, she's drunk I thought. She continued:
Yes, and then they all said they felt sorry for me and I should get myself a life and get out more.
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