Birthday honours

So, she was flicking through her 2008 diary and writing things in her 2009 diary when she looked up at me and said:

Poor you Marley. You are a foundling. You don't have a birthday so I can't put it in my diary. No-one even knows how old you are, although the vet did look at your teeth and said you were probably in your late 40s. Older probably. Much older than me certainly.

Not THAT much older.... I am sure I am not that old. I have simply been weathered by my life on the road.

Well, Marley. I am going to rectify this situation, she said. I am going to do some research into zodiac signs and see what best suits your personality.

This, thought I, is a woman with too much time on her hands.

And off she wandered muttering: Search terms.... lazy... dirty... greedy... yeeees...