Sleeping in

She is such a lazy cow. It was nearly midday before she crashed down the stairs today. And the first thing she said to me was 'Look at you, you lazy good for nothing animal. You sat on that armchair at 4 o'clock yesterday afternoon. Twenty hours, Marley. Twenty hours...'

Staggering off to the kitchen I heard her muttering 'might as well be dead and save me the food bills and the extra housework...' which I thought was very harsh. Must remember to do something horrible to her today...

Why my ears were burning

The lady who looked after me when Mealticket left me home alone came round yesterday. I heard them talking about the most interesting thing in their lives:

'Thank you so much for looking after Marley for me'
'Oh, it was no trouble. Erm... he DOES eat a lot doesn't he?'
'Yes, he has quite a healthy appetite'
'Twice as much as my cats eat'
'Gosh. That much. Really?'
'Yes. And that drool...'
'Oh, I know. He can't help that. Still handsome though isn't he?'

There was an awkward silence. I heard Mutton clear her throat. And a pin dropped somewhere.