You never know where you are with this bird. If she's not planning to do away with me, she's kissing the back of my neck and calling me 'lovely little furball'. Last night she cut me three mini cubes of cheddar and let me eat them on the sofa while I was watching Match of the Day. It was a special moment.
I don't care what other people say, Marley, she said, tickling my best ear. You're my best boy. Oh.... eeeeeww. Did you just fart?
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