Cats with curves...

She overslept today and I was woken by those enormous fat feet of hers thundering down the stairs. 'Where is it, Marley?' she asked. I heard you throwing up at 2 o'clock in the morning and I hope it's not on the carpet again... oh. It IS on the carpet...'

I sat on my blankie while I watched her on her knees with the kitchen roll and her head turned the other way. 'Honestly, Furbum. This has got to stop. When I called you fat it was just a silly little joke. If you keep going on like this, your fur coat will get too big for you. Those cats you see on Animal Cops - they are SICK Marley. It's not attractive to be that thin.... I prefer a cat with curves...'

And so on.... She's getting dressed now. I am going back to bed. Didn't fancy any breakfast.