Doctor's orders

I had to go to the doctor this week. It was a new chap. He read my notes and said to her 'Is he going to attack me?'

Actually I used a new technique. I slumped my body and it took two of them to lift me out of my box. I had to stand on the scales and he said 'Oh, he's put on quite a bit of weight. Actually he is slightly overweight. What does he eat? You are feeding him that special hyper-allergenic stuff aren't you?'

Oh crap. That horrid bland mousse stuff they used to feed me in prison. I looked at her, and she looked at me. Don't mention the cheese, I thought. Please. Don't mention the cheese.

'Well, he enjoys quite a varied diet these days', she said off-handedly. There was an awkward silence.

'Well, with his medical history, it's no problem if he's slightly overweight. Gives him a bit in reserve for when he's under the weather'.

I LIKED this man. He gave me an injection and I got my ears syringed and some new tablets and some drops for my food and some drops for my ears and a pedicure as well.

Came home and ate a rabbit and lamb mix-up. Nice.