How we met

If you remember, I was stuck in a cell, unwashed, unbrushed and hounded by a guard dog. The staff hated me. It was mutual.

After a few months I began to overhear snippets of conversation - the guards were hatching a plan to get rid of me. It seemed I could be released into the community, with some restrictions, if they could find me a place in a half-way hostel.

And one day, the door to my cellblock opened and in she walked. The guard said 'We've got two lovely kittens with ringworm next door you might be interested in'.

But she wasn't listening. We were looking at each other, and my ears were all flat. 'Oh, he's a bad lot this one', they told her and I got my claws out to prove a point.

'Oh, really?' she said. 'How thrilling....'

Then she disappeared again.