What time is it?

My body clock’s been off all day. What happened in the football? I am a West Ham man myself, and my bird thinks that this is another thing that bonds us because her useless team plays in the same colour strip. Women! What do they know about football anyway? I asked her to leave Radio 5 on when she left the house this afternoon but then I fell asleep and missed it all. She'd better be back in time for Match of the Day.