Still awake - I'll be ill at this rate

I sleep on the sofa most nights. Others I sleep in the spare bedroom. Once I even woke up and I was on the landing and must have been there for some time because there was quite a lot of drool on the carpet.

I’ve only tried to get into bed with this bird once, just after I moved in. It was an accident. I turned left at the top of the stairs instead of right and she was all ‘Oh, darling, did you come to say hello, you’re lovely aren’t you.’ She started to kiss the back of my neck and I was out of there like the clappers.