Every day my captors lined the floor of my cell with fresh newspapers. After reading the sports pages I started to shred the papers using my long nails. I began to experiment with using my drool as glue. I discovered that mixing it with half chewed food and letting it hang from my chin had the desired effect. I managed to stick two words together.
Britney rainfall.
Worn out by my efforts, I slept for the next 14 hours.
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