Letter to Lapland

Dear Santa

I have been a good boy this year. Please bring me the following:

• A flock of non flying sparrows to live in the garden
• The 2009 Cheese Lover's Diary and/or Calendar
• The Ladybird book of British cheese
• A year's supply of strong farmhouse cheddar
• A different front door bell - this one makes me jump
• A blue studded collar

Also, something for my bird, who does her best by me. Please send her a taller bed as I can't fit under this one any more.

Oh. And a bigger lap.

Love from Marley