I can't sleep

And it's all that bird's fault. My fur is standing on end. Earlier, she turned off the lights, except for those on the tree we have growing in the lounge. She said: It's our first Christmas Eve together and it's traditional that we tell each other ghost stories. I will go first. And while I was settling down on her lap she started....

T'was the night before Christmas

And all through the house

Nothing was stirring

Except for Ghost Mouse

Who, looking for mischief,

Spied a cat on a blankie

And used his tail for a rope

And his fur for a hankie.

He tickled Puss's nose

And ruffled his fur

But silly fat cat

Just let out a purr.

Mousey tugged the cat's whiskers

And down his back crept

But lazy black cat

Just snored as he slept.

Looking for more fun

Ghost Mouse spotted the tree

And said to himself

'Great - presents for free'.

A triangular package labelled

'Enjoy this Marley, please'

Was quickly unwrapped to reveal

Cheddar cheese!

Ghost Mouse smiled as he chewed

And laughed with a shake

At the stupid fat cat

Who couldn't stay awake.

And that's why, Marley,

On Christmas morn

Your stocking will be empty

And you'll be forlorn.

So watch out for Mousey

And his evil ways

To stop him from ruining

The best of days.