Winter draws on

I'm very busy at the moment trying to establish my new winter routines.

She wakes up first, but I prefer not to get up at the same time. I looked at her once when she had just woken up. It was like looking into the eyes of the gorgon. Mascara all round her face and hair sticky-outy. I do have a sensitive stomach, so I find it best to sleep for an extra hour or two while she is crashing around getting presentable.

She eats porridge. Yucky girly food - tried it once. Didn't like it. I tend to have a high-protein breakfast - usually fish.

She goes out. I go to her bed.

She comes back. I get up. I eat my tea.

I have a new fluffy bed which is by the radiator in the lounge. I spend late afternoons lying down, resting. Then, after I have tasted her dinner, and she has eaten it with my approval, we have some special quality time on the sofa. She gives me an evening bath in front of the tv. Then she goes upstairs to have her bath and leaves the door open because I like to watch her at all times. I am also learning a new game - chase the tape measure. The rules are very complicated and the game exhausting. Usually I have just enough energy left to eat my supper and then I go to bed.

Reading that back, I am astonished at how much I can fit into one day. If only others followed my example, the world economy would be off its knees in no time.